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| My blogging frequency has gone considerably higher. It is probably due to all the harsh times I'm having.
I had to go to bathroom #2 this morning. It was the 3rd day and I didn't go all weekend. I didn't want to have to go out because it's so cold. And my toilet can't handle anything. Well, anyways. I went to the library this morning, and I told my honey I'd be there. I tried to find her in our usual spot for like 5 minutes and I looked around everywhere. Then I check my phone where it says she's on the 3rd floor with some Taiwanese people. I searched around the 3rd floor and found her. Unfortunately, she was sitting with her friend, so I sat across from her instead. I thought if I wanted to go the bathroom or not. I waited to see if me and her would leave and go back to our spot. But.... we didn't, and I didn't get to go to the bathroom. So, I went to class, went to work, went to class again, took my chinese test, and then found her at the library again with some of her friends again. I sat next to her, but didn't have table space to do any work. What was I supposed to do? Stare at her for the next hour? I'm here to study just like everyone else. So I pulled my chair to a desk nearby and studied. At this point, my stomach was too upset to eat anything. She offered me fried rice, to which I would happily eat if I thought I wouldn't throw it all back up. I was starving to where my stomach is hurting but couldn't eat at this point.
Anyways, she left to go to her physics lab. I, on the other hand, couldn't rewrite my notes like I normally do because my blue pen ran out of ink. So, I ended up taking care of my bathroom break, and then rested for the next 2 hours. Yeah, effing waste of time.
Overall, I had a pretty bad day. I believe that the morning screwed up my entire day, so that's why I felt bad and upset the rest of the day. Man, I felt worse than just miserable. While I was resting my head, I felt like I wanted to just shed a tear. But, testosterone says no, haha. So, it is a terrible terrible day to start off my week. But I gotta keep strong and study hard. I wanted to go to the gym after my Chinese class, but of course, I had that bathroom #2, which would've been taken care of in the morning instead.
Blah, it's 9:30pm now and I have not done one single damn thing of studying. Instead, I basically helped everyone else out today with their stuff. My mom told me to mind my own business and make sure I focus solely on myself and what I need. I keep running into too many distractions and keep getting side-tracked with everything.
Anyways, I should stop moping about all this crap and get to work now. Speaking of work, ALL the student workers get the day off in the chemistry department except me. I have to go in tmw morning at 8 fuckin AM and work. ldfkasjgskladgjdasklgjadsglskaj
fuck school. fuck my life.
I need to go blow some steam. I'm way too damn pissed off about everything going on in my life.
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| This weekend was pretty good. My honey went home, so I mostly just worked on homework. I got a lot done, but also got distracted a lot. I mean, you can only study for so long until your brain just needs a distraction. This year, I am not really into the studying. Last year, I could study for hours. However, I study for like an hour and give up, haha. I try to come back a few minutes later and keep going, but give up after ten minutes. Once I finish a problem or reading a section, I just get tired. Or when I see a long section or a hard problem to solve, I also give up.
That's pretty normal for most people I guess. At least I did finish everything I wanted to do over this weekend. I didn't even step out of my door once for the last 3 days haha. Oh, sad. Anyways, I've caught up on everything and that's the good news. I still need to pull forward because my Mondays are jam-packed with classes and work. So, I have to study ahead for a little bit so I don't fall behind after Monday. Plus I work Tuesday morning, so I need to study ahead to cover these first two days of the week, otherwise I fall behind for the rest of the week.
I made fried rice today, but it tastes pretty plain and bland. It's not really that good, haha. I added some hot sauce to it, and that only helps a little bit. Well, at least it is something to eat, haha. Speaking of eating, I'm trying to figure out when I should eat tomorrow. Breakfast in the morning, pop tart at 3pm which is after work, then go home for dinner at 5pm? Haha, I'll probably be starving by then.
Oh well, at least a lot got done this weekend :D
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| I just wanted to blog a little something about my honey :P
I told her this today (well yesterday now). In 5 more days, it will be our 2 and a half year anniversary. That's a whopping 30 months, equaling to a quarter of a decade, haha.
Anyways, in all my life, I've never felt more like myself or be able to act the way I do. Such as nice, funny, stupid, and all the other things, ya know. I just thought that before her, I was pretty sheltered. My mom did everything for me because she has that mother-ly attitude that just does it all for you. My dad never mentions much about how to do things. He's one of those that handles it on his own. So, I'm all at home having to learn all these experiences on my own. I never went out that much. By age 16, I wasn't familiar with a movie theater and had only gone a few times in my life. Being able to sit in one was like "whoa".
Everything had a tremendous shift when I got together with my honey. I started going to see movies with her and able to go out more. I have gained so much experience in these past 30 months. I mean sure, before her my life wasn't bad at all. But it did get much better :) We went to the mall together and looked around, got to eat at different restaurants around the city, I got to eat and try different things that my honey orders haha.
The best thing of all is that I have someone I can share my feelings with. I have someone to hug when I need it. It's good to just lean my head over and just relax because it's comfy being with her. The best thing I love about her is her hugs. Especially the hugs that just wraps around you nice and snuggly :D
Anyways, there's a million more things I love about my honey, but I would be here until morning :D. I need to finish up some studying and then go to bed.
I love you so much honey :]
真的,我非常愛妳!
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| Last year, as a freshman, I used to be top of the class. I nailed all of my classes hardly breaking a sweat. Finished assignments way before I could write them down. Had enough time to go to the gym at least 4 or 5 times a week and managed to even watch hours of drama and play hours of computer games a week. One time, I made it to about 40 hours of video games a week during dead week. However, I only took one hard class and the rest were easy-going. I focused all my time into Chemistry and understood it the best I could. I developed A's with ease.
However, I am taking on a few more harder classes. Organic Chemistry is just as I had expected. To be realistic, everyone says that class is hard, so I lowered my expectations. However, I should still be able to pull off A's no matter what the difficulty of the class is. On this first midterm, I got a 90%. That's an A-. Man, I felt like I did everything right on that test. I knew I missed one true/false question, which would be a 97. So where did I mess up on that would knock me down 7 points? I get my test back this Thursday, so hopefully I can learn from my mistakes. I really need to stop feeling down when I screw up on my tests and just take the time to learn from them. So far, I have screwed up to some degree on every test I've taken so far, except this bio test that I just took last night.
Last night, I had my bio midterm. I had a long day. 10-12 class, 12-3 work, 3-5 class again. And my test was at 7:30pm. By the time my last class was over, I was starving and I just needed to take a break. My day took too much out of me to even study. So, I ended up watching drama on my computer. Sucks for me, because I did the best I could do without screwing up and got a 46/50 which is 92% on that test. I am pretty content with this score. If I would've studied harder, I probably could've gotten 48 or 49 out of 50. There were some simple ones that I just missed and didn't study.
As for math class, I am screweeeeeed! I thought integrals was going to be easy, but it turns out that it is like 5x more work than I had planned for. I have to practice over and over again and each problem takes about 10-30 minutes to do. I feel really terrible about that class. The class average is a 60% and the median is 61%. That basically means the class as a whole is practically failing. My honey in physics got a C on her test and the class average was probably just as low and the teacher gave them back 24 points? Man, I wish I would get even like a 5 point boost to raise that to a solid A haha :D
I'm struggling to get all A's and it is the most challenging thing yet. I've never studied this hard in my life ever. I've given up practically everything I do just to keep studying. I haven't gone to the gym in over 3 weeks, I haven't played any video games for probably a month now. I haven't watched any anime for close to a month also. Besides yesterday night watching drama, I haven't done that in probably over 2 months.
I just feel miserable. My acne is flaring up like crazy. They are the red painful ones that hurt when you touch them.
Here is my prediction for my grades this year.
Organic - B+/A- I've been getting 8/10 on all the quizzes and my test is only A-. If I dominate midterm 2 and the final, I could pull off an A, but that's not likely if I am still getting B's on all my quizzes.
Biology - A-/A I'm getting B+'s and A-'s on my test. I'm doing so-so in lab, so hopefully lab grade will boost my grade a bit at the very end of the term.
Math - B+ It doesn't look like I am going anywhere other than a B+ in this class. My homework is being graded by some jackass that has a dick stuck up its asshole and giving me D's. I barely got that B+ on my first midterm, and I screwed up hella bad on the pre-req quiz. So, a B+ might be the best I can do here unless I dominate midterm 2 and the final which is a slim possibility because I am getting screwed over right now by all the complicated methods of antiderivatives.
Chinese - A+++ This class is just what I need in my day to enjoy. It's a fun class and it's just what I really want to learn. It's not too hard to study for and I'm pretty decent at writing chinese characters.
From what I have, I'm struggling in math and organic chemistry to get those A's. Sigh, last year was so much easier.
Today, I had work at 8am in the morning even though my bio midterm was at 7:30pm the night before. Despite that fact, I still went to work and it went fairly okay this morning. However, I didn't get to do my homework like I normally do. After work, I forgot to bring my checkbook to pay rent. I got off at 12pm and the stupid office goes to lunch at 12:30pm, all of the employees at the same time (pretty lame imo). So I biked back home as fast as I could to grab my checkbook and then biked to their office as fast as I could. Luckily I made it in time :].
I sat at the library for a very long time. Told my honey last night that she should come as soon as possible. After 10 minutes went by, I gave her another 5. Then gave her another 5. Then my first assumption was that she probably went to her prof office hour, like she always does. After 40 minutes went by, she finally came. And just as I had thought, she did go to her prof office hours. She told me we should go on a dinner date tonight because i was going to take her home after her review session, which goes pretty late at night. Anyways, she knows how the dinner date went. Not as good as planned. And a loss of $6.95 ::sigh:: I could've just starved and ate at home later. bleh
I ask myself, do I ask for too much? I mean, the only person I talk with is..... well, it's all in my head. It's kind of hard to get an outside perspective when the only place you're at is inside. Am I asking for too many things? If so, then maybe I should change my expectations, which changes my attitudes?
I don't know. I'm just rambling about stuff inside my head.
Spent about an hour here. I should put the rest of my night to good use.
Good night and good luck to me on this integral skills test on Thursday.
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| I don't know why I am typing this now. I should be studying for organic chemistry. My test is tomorrow at 6pm. Organic chemistry is a little harder to study for compared to general chemistry. Or, maybe I just don't have the right materials. I did the chapter problems as I was reading the book, so that was awhile ago. I did the practice exam this week, and I took it as if it were a real exam. I did pretty good for most of the test. There was the alkyl shift that I did not understand, but after reviewing my notes and learning more about it in lecture, I finally understand how it works. The last part I'm shaky on is the configurations. I have to draw an eclipsed confirmation with a given configuration. Basically, there's a specific way the atoms are rearranged and I just can't picture it. I keep wondering if the hydrogen will be on that side or on the other side. Or if the bromine is paired up with a hydrogen or another bromine. Anyways, luckily I get to bring a model kit with me to the test, so I will spend the remainder of the time trying to picture it, haha. I feel pretty solid about this test, but at the same time, I have not studied that much for this class.
As with my other classes, I am struggling for A's. I got an 88 on my bio midterm as I have mentioned before. I got an 88.5 on my math midterm. I thought I would've gotten an A for sure. The professor is okay, but one thing that really annoys me is that he posts the homework up the day before it is due. He posted it today, and I had class all day. Also, I've been studying for my organic midterm and biology post-lab and pre-lab quizzes tmw morning. Man, week after week, it hasn't been fun. It's nearly two weeks since I have been to the gym. I just can't find the time to go anymore. Riding my bike in the rain is a pain because my bike is short so as my wheels spin, the water sprays all over me and my backpack and my butt. I end up with wet pants and a wet backpack.
Anywhooooooo, I feel confident about this organic test. And I'll be ready for it tomorrow :)
As for biology, midterm 2 is on Monday. Right after the organic chem test, I will turn my attention to biology. I will get an A on this next midterm for sure! :D I've been studying really hard, and I will spend the ENTIRE period checking and re-checking ALL my answers. The same with organic chemistry. I feel really disappointed when I make careless mistakes. So, I will make sure that I won't make any.
Woot! Bring on the tests!
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